Archive for the ‘Separation’ Category
I will be living solely on the Child support and alimony that I was awarded by the courts, however we filed our taxes married/jointly for 2007 since I don’t work. I will be living on 1/2 the income I was, but don’t know how to ammend this information so I can increase my chances of getting financial aid since my situation is completely different from 2007. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Also, how will the separation affect my future applications for fafsa? will I have to include his income despite the legal Separation? I know next year we will likely file taxes married/seprately. Thanks!
You will not have to include your husband’s income if you are separated. You only use your income information for the year 2007. This process can be complicated because you are looking at line items on the tax return. Look at your joint tax return, and see if any line items pertain to you. For example, if there is interest in the bank of $100.00, then you would include $50 as income to you. Actually what you are doing is creating a tax return as if you were filing by yourself. This takes some expertise, so I would bring my 2007 income tax along with the w-2 forms to the financial aid office so they can help you complete the FAFSA. They will separated your income from your husband and give you the figures to include on the FAFSA. Most likely you will be eligible for the grants since you did not work in 2007.
For the 2009-10 FAFSA and beyond, if you are still separated, you should file your own taxes, separate from your husband. You never have to include his income if you are separated, but the financial aid office will wonder why you are filing jointly with your husband year after year if you are separated. The household size would only include you and your children. If you are not working, then you only need to include child support and alimony.
I hope this is helpful.
Separation anxiety can strike when you least expect it.
Five-year old Jessica seemed relatively calm about her first day in kindergarten and her parents had no reason to suspect that separation anxiety would be a problem. She smiled sweetly as her father snapped her picture while she was getting into the car in her shiny new shoes with her hair in pigtails and a pink Dora the Explorer backpack in her arms.
A few minutes later the same little girl was standing at the door to her new classroom, crying hysterically, screaming, clutching the hem of her mother’s skirt and begging not to be left alone in her new surroundings.
According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, going to school is generally an exciting, enjoyable event for young children. But for children affected by separation anxiety, it brings intense fear or panic.
Not wanting to go to school can occur anytime but it is most common in children 5-7 and 11-14, times when children are dealing with the new challenges of elementary school and middle school.
Children with Separation anxiety suffer from a paralyzing fear of leaving the safety of their parents and home. The child’s panic and refusal to go to school is very difficult for parents, but these fears and behaviors can be treated successfully with patience and professional help
One of the hardest things a parent ever has to do is leave a distraught child with a caregiver or teacher. Many young children feel anxious when confronted with a new situation. Usually a parent can gently encourage them to step out of their “safe zone” in order to have new experiences.
However, children with separation anxiety will loudly and tearfully resist anything which they perceive as different. It can take a considerable amount of patience to help a child feel confident about tackling things they at first find difficult.
Separation anxiety isn’t just a “kid thing”.
Parents are not thrilled by the prospect of leaving either. But if you let your apprehension show, your child is almost certain to pick up on it. Besides, a dramatic farewell will just validate your child’s feelings of insecurity. Try to stay calm and positive – even if he is hysterical. Talk to him evenly and assure him you will be back soon.
Children with separation anxiety may exhibit the following symptoms:
- Feel unsafe staying in a room by themselves
- Display clinging behavior
- Display excessive worry and fear about harm befalling their parents
- Shadow the mother or father around the house
- Have difficulty going to sleep
- Have nightmares
- Have exaggerated, unrealistic fears of animals, monsters, burglars
- Fear being alone in the dark
- Have severe tantrums when forced to go to school
Parents can experiment with new ways to interact with children so that the child’s fears are not inadvertently reinforced. Parents should give children ample praise and positive reinforcement for “brave” behavior.
When fears persist the parent and the child should consult with a qualified mental health professional, who can work with them to develop a plan to help the child overcome these emotional hurdles.
Separation anxiety is a treatable condition and most patients eventually overcome their problems.
Jonathan Sapling
http://www.articlesbase.com/non-fiction-articles/separation-anxiety-torments-children-and-their-parents-151945.html
I’m asking because I’ve been curious.
part of the reason I stay with my husband is because I worry what the effect would be on our children if we seperated. My husband has made it clear that he wants this marriage and does NOT want to seperate and therefor would likely try to make things difficult to actually leave, I don’t see any effort on his part to make changes and get councelling so that we can stay married happily.
I wonder if the children would be better off with us married or divorced.
I just really want to know how the kids will be affected.
They are only 5 and 2..
Thanks for you answers
it depends on the child to be honest – there is no blanket answer.
Some kids take it in stride – others have issues – you just have to watch their actions, listen to what they say and react according to each child’s personal needs. If they are taking it badly, you get them into counseling.
It doesn’t make sense to stay in a marriage for the "sake of the kids"…because what are you teaching them? That being in an unhappy relationship is acceptable? that being treated with disrespect is healthy? that communication isn’t important?
children live and learn what they know – if you want your children to grow up and have healthy relationships – you need to reflect it in yours – you are their most influential teacher.
Okay I can’t take the yelling and the screaming any more I am done emotional and physically. My husband can not control his anger, he is so mean and hurtful to me and the kids, it is a second marriage for both of us, him because of divorce and me because my first husband died in an accident. I thought love could conquer all but seems I was wrong. Any how he has in the past attended a dads group, had anger management, counselling, been involved with children’s aid etc.
He goes along for a bit and does not to bad, so I sing his praising hoping that he will keep it up. But every time it goes right back to where it started in the beginning, I kept giving him chance after chance after chance, how stupid is that? Any how last night I told him that I could not take it any more I am tried, I can not do it. He has the choice to get help or to get out, and personally I was hoping he would get out. However he did not and will not give me an answer. I want to know if he is hanging around because it looks better in a separation if I kick him out and if so how does it affect me legally? I can not stand by and put the kids or myself through this crap any more, but I also have to be able to make an informed decision about what to do. Do I have a leg to stand on? Does emotional abuse mean anything in a court of law? I am actually beginning to wonder if he is mental, last night he accused me of calling the police and they sat outside the house all night, I ask him where they where parked and he told me just beyond the bushes, beleive me there was nothing there. He also handed me the phone and said keep it close at hand cause he thought I was scared for my well being. I think the man has lost it. Anyhow any one with any information would help. Because these laws are different every where you should know I live in Ontario. Thanks for any input, I think 6 years of hell is long enough!!!!
In Canada the law regarding divorce is very clear. In the case of adultery you can file for divorce immediately. In cases such as yours you must remain separated for a period of not less than one year. After which time you may file for divorce provided you have fulfilled the criteria ( lived apart for one year). The "respondent" your husband, will have 30 days to contest the divorce terms if he so chooses. A divorce is almost always granted without having to appear in court if not contested . This comes under what is called irreconcilable differences. If your husband does contest the divorce then you will have to go to court unless both of you can agree on the terms of the divorce, re: splitting of the assets, child custody, amount of child support etc. before the court date.
Bear in mind that after you separate you MUST live apart and not move in together again and move out again during the one year for the Separation agreement to be valid. If you do, then the separation period starts over again.
I doubt that you can get a restraining order against your husband while you are both living in the same residence. If that were the case then the police would in effect be kicking the husband out of his own home and I do not believe they have the legal authority to do so. However, I am not a lawyer so it is best that you ask the police if they can do this. Once you or your husband have moved out then you can obtain a restraining order to keep him away.
A written separation agreement will define the terms of the separation. It will detail who the children will live with and on what terms while you both remain separated. It will detail how much money your husband will be required to pay for Child support.
You asked if emotional abuse means anything in court. Yes, it does. It will be very significant when it comes to custody of the children. It is preferable that you and your husband work out visitation rights on your own but if you can’t the court will do so and both of you will be bound by it. In Canada, custody of the children generally falls in favor of the mother.
Good luck, you are in a difficult situation and it would be wise for one or the other to leave.
Please give me your opinion, this is for a College research… out of 30 topics I believe this one is the most interesting one. Any ideas for a visual project about this topic? WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ISSUE? In my opinion divorce affect children more than affects the [parents. How you compromise the pain that divorce causes on a kid? What are the biggest mistakes that parents do? Spoiled them to much after a Separation? Or… just "my mom lets me and you don’t" the biggest issue?
If you ever read any book about this… could you give me the name and author?
I believe how a divorce will affect the children depends largely on how the parents handle it. If they fight a lot and one parent tries to turn the kids against the other parent, things will be harder for the kids. If the parents are smart enough to be concerned for the children, they won’t let the kids see the arguing, and will handle things calmly. The biggest mistake parents make is talking about the other parent in a negative way to or in front of the children. Both parents should share responsibilities concerning the children after the divorce, although I know that rarely happens.