While it’s probably hard on single fathers because we are not naturally maternal, I’m sure it takes a lot more courage and willpower (and sacrifices) for a mother to play the role of both mom and dad to her child.
Your thought on this?
It’s definitely a double standard in our culture. We tend to look at fatherhood as voluntary. Our culture still defines a good father as a good provider. If he can give his kids financial support, then he’s met the minimum requirement for fatherhood, and no one really expects more. If he chooses to give more than financial support, we praise him.
Motherhood, on the other hand, is not seen as voluntary. A mother is not given a choice of how much emotional and personal involvement she wants to have with her kids. She is expected to be there for them, love them, and do the hands on care 24/7. If she doesn’t sacrifice everything for her kids, she is criticized for not being a good enough mother.
As for who has it harder, I think single mothers do, but not for the reasons other people mentioned. It’s the money. Single mothers’ incomes continue to lag behind single fathers’ incomes, and the gap has increased over time. Households headed by an unmarried woman are at a huge disadvantage financially. The stress of low income, combined with the expectation that a mom has to be everything to her children, can make her life very difficult.
Only for those who are single parents.
…Almost every day…haha…I am being somewhat fecitious but truly, as a single father of two girls, oldest being 21 now, I can say it is now that is the hardest. Because I am constantly realizing all the moments when I should have said this or that or done something a different way. It’s simple to say and yet hard to practice at times but try to be the best parent you can with the thought that every decision you make should be for the child and his or her "future social characteristics", for when they get older is truly when you will know if you "did the best you could". My kids are great kids and I think I worry about them more now than I did at an early age. However, I always questioned myself from time to time as to whether I was being the best parent, I think we should be concerned if we do not question ourselves. Complacency is infectious. Remember, it is easier to raise a child than an adult.
Best wishes to all the Single parents.
If I don’t take any money/Child support from him, do I have to let him see the baby? If so, I am going tolie to him and say it isn’t his. He is way too immature to care for a child and I refuse to submit my baby to that.
I am 16 and plan on not telling him that it’s his baby.
Rights and responsibilities are two different things.
He was the right to see his child unless shown by a court of law that he is unfit.
He is responsible to pay support.
If you are old enough to bring a child into this world you are old enough to that it is an extremely poor decision to deprive your child of a parents. He is probably young, and immature, however he will grow. Just as you will. I would strongly suggest establishing formal paternity and parental rights through the court system. It is absolutly the right of the child to have both his parents supporting him or her financially, emotionally and physically.
Unless a court deems a parent to be unfit it is thier right to see and have a relationship with that child.
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http://tinyurl.com/123custody ← ← WIN YOUR CHILD CUSTODY CASE Understanding Child support visitation rights FAQ Get the Facts
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"Lee" makes $6.00 an hour and is ordered to pay $514.00 a month for child support and doesn’t even get 40 hours on the job. The order come from Illinois and "Lee" lives in Mississippi. "Lee" appealed last year and was given a telephone interview she knew nothing about. 2 of her checks was $0.00 after support was taken out. The child turned 18 in July and is away at college. "Lee" doesn’t mind paying the support, but she can hardly get her bills paid. Does anyone know of a lawyer (maybe a legal aid lawyer) that sides with the parent paying support to get it lowered?
First of all, The state of Illinois will mandate support until the age of 19 if the child is continuing High School or past that age if by agreement.
Secondly, by statute, the minimum percentage of support for 6 children is 50% of Net so you are either, as one person said, lying or being lied to.
And finally, the case of your FRIEND is most likely because she owes arrears and that will continue until the amount is paid in full.
The ONLY solution for her is to either hire an attorney or get another job. Because frankly, I don’t believe a word of this story.
EDITED TO CORRECT A FALSE FACT:
Child support in New York continues until the age of 21. And in all states, provisions in the statutes allow for support to continue (in some cases) for the life of the child.
Support does NOT automatically terminate in ANY state at the age of 18. There is either a statutory allowance for a motion to terminate or the order must be written into the support decision at the time of the court’s issuance.