I’m asking because I’ve been curious.
part of the reason I stay with my husband is because I worry what the effect would be on our children if we seperated. My husband has made it clear that he wants this marriage and does NOT want to seperate and therefor would likely try to make things difficult to actually leave, I don’t see any effort on his part to make changes and get councelling so that we can stay married happily.
I wonder if the children would be better off with us married or divorced.
I just really want to know how the kids will be affected.
They are only 5 and 2..
Thanks for you answers
it depends on the child to be honest – there is no blanket answer.
Some kids take it in stride – others have issues – you just have to watch their actions, listen to what they say and react according to each child’s personal needs. If they are taking it badly, you get them into counseling.
It doesn’t make sense to stay in a marriage for the "sake of the kids"…because what are you teaching them? That being in an unhappy relationship is acceptable? that being treated with disrespect is healthy? that communication isn’t important?
children live and learn what they know – if you want your children to grow up and have healthy relationships – you need to reflect it in yours – you are their most influential teacher.
they think it’s their fault, it’s a drastic change, my friend told me, atleast she use to be. after the divorce she went extreme emo. it depends. a 2 year old is kind of young, she needs both her parents there at that time. a 5 year old’s heart would just be ripped in half.
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some kids may take it easier than others and some it may mess them up a bit. for me i use to think it was my fault that mommy and daddy weren’t togather; or that dadddy didn’t want me anymore. the children may become depressed later once they realize what happened or they may resent the parent who left. counciling will help kids and parents through tough times. but that’s just my take…..
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it depends on the child to be honest – there is no blanket answer.
Some kids take it in stride – others have issues – you just have to watch their actions, listen to what they say and react according to each child’s personal needs. If they are taking it badly, you get them into counseling.
It doesn’t make sense to stay in a marriage for the "sake of the kids"…because what are you teaching them? That being in an unhappy relationship is acceptable? that being treated with disrespect is healthy? that communication isn’t important?
children live and learn what they know – if you want your children to grow up and have healthy relationships – you need to reflect it in yours – you are their most influential teacher.
References :
It totally depends on the relationship between the parents and the children. If the kids dont see their parent(s) much anyway then it wont make the biggest difference in the world. If the kids and parent(s) are close then it may be even easier to explain it to them, but tread carefully in that matter. If they grow up seeing their parents unhappy in their relationship then it will only make their adult lives harder…they wont have a healthy example of how to be comfortable in a relationship. Every child is different and reactions can differ even among siblings. Hope I helped.
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My grandson was 5 when his parents divorced and my daughter moved forward without missing a beat. She acted as if this were the most normal thing in the world. He realized that he would have a roof over his head and food in his stomach and that mama and daddy both loved him and he was fine. If the grown ups act like grown ups and treat each other with respect the children will be fine. If you continue to argue together or apart they will not. The two year old is too busy trying to conquer the world to care. I would suggest that you rethink a divorce though. Are the things in your marriage that bother you really divorce stuff. Sometimes in marriage especially when you’re younger you argue for the sake of arguing and complain for the sake of complaining. I am not saying that you are, I am just suggesting that just for today you step back and completely assess the situation and see if there’s anything you can do to make it better.
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