I’ve been reading some posts and I think its great when a single mom can take care of her kid(s) by herself – I think its an awful situation to be put in but I really commend the women (and the men) that do it. but i wonder how? how can a single, let’s say 17year old take care of a child all by herself? full time job, daycare, apartment, bills.. It’s tough enough with a partner. I keep seeing posts where women say they’ve done it all by themselves but I can’t imagine how. just curious.
I work really hard in order to support myself and my son. His father had only seen him 4 times (day he was born, 1 visit to home, appointment, christmas) and makes no effort to see how he is doing or help financially (my Child support hearing is next week) I’m also a full time college student. The biggest help I have is my mom and her husband, I’d be lost without them. Thanks to them I don’t have to worry about daycare while I’m at work or school. It’s really hard, I have to worry about his needs first, there have been times where I couldnt afford to buy myself food because he needed diapers and I either go eat at my moms, borrowed money or just not eaten. I don’t regret a minute of my life without my baby boy. He is the only reason I work so hard and study my butt off. He is all the motivation in the world that i need in order to pull through and get ahead.
It is possible…i did it for 2 years before i was finally able to get a court order for child support. You live very very frugally.
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Me too! I am 29, engaged to the father of my 8mo old, and we are living with our parents becauise we cannot afford to pay for him. Daycare is what kills us the most…at 715/mo! That basically took the place of rent for us! I am wondering too! And we make "too much" money to get any help, even though I am against state aid.
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Ill help her out
… im 18 
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is lonely
I was a single dad for a while it was hard as hell. Lucky enough i got a good job and income to support them all. Child support payments help (but not much), and not in my case, but often times the grandparents help out which is really cool. I can’t imagine a 17 year old doing it though…wow.
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Im 18 and I do it all on my own. I was lucky enough to be out of high school and already supporting myself when I got pregnant. The father of my baby signed over all rights 2 days after my daughter was born. (it was best for all of us) While I was pregnant I worked a full well paying job and I worked another part time job on the weekends any extra money I saved. Now im in collage and still working full time. Fortunately a lot of my classes are online. While im working my next door neighbor watches my daughter. I pay her but not near as much as a daycare. It’s very hard but its possible. You just do what you have to do to support your child if that means working two full time jobs then you do it.
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Mother to beautiful Ashlyn Marie (7 months)
When I was in high school, one of my friends got pregnant. She basicly had it made. The state paid for her daycare, she got WIC which paid for baby formula, milk, cearl, she ended up getting food stamps, then they paid for part of her housing! She went to college and got financial aid because she was a single parent with a child. Not to mention her and her child’s medicad. Don’t get me wrong, its nice for the state to help out in situations like this, but really isn’t that teaching teenagers that the state will bail you out if you get pregnant? I have seen many families that needed the help and couldn’t get it!
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I think all of the good young parents I knew had help from someone … Family, friends, neighbors, church groups. And a lot of them got government assistance. — I can’t imagine doing it without any help! But I know that some people do put their young lives on hold and struggle to get through it.
The most impressive case I knew of was a friend of mine who became a single dad at 14. Yes – 14. And the mom didn’t want to have anything to do with her kid. He lived with his parents. He went to school. And he worked hard at a local grocery store – making his way to a management position before he even got out of high school! He had a very supportive group of friends and family that helped him raise his son into a wonderful little boy.
Personally – I had my daughter a few weeks after turning 20. Barely missed being a "teen mom." And I gotta admit – I didn’t do as well as some manage to. I lived with grandparents until she was 3 years old and got the stuff we needed form a combo of my mom, food stamps, medicaid, grandparents, and doing pretty much any little job that came my way. I also got a GED and took a few college courses in that time.
When I got out on my own – it was a mixed feeling of relief and things getting harder at the same time. But I did what I had to do. I got my daughter in pre-k when she turned 4 so I wouldn’t have to pay for a full day of childcare, I got the lady next door to watch her until I could afford regular daycare, I watched almost every penny I got, and I worked over 50 hours some weeks. It was tiring – but it can be done.
Anyhow, I have a lot of respect for young single moms. I know a lot of them didn’t have as much help as me.
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when I was 18 and pregnant ..I saved my money and opened a seafood store..I ran it 10 yrs. Put myself through college. Now I am an Ethnobotanist and make plant based medicines for my entire community and assist in midwifery.
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6 kids
Its kinda hard, like sometimes you have to do some stuff or go somewhere kids arn’t aloud soo someone has to watch my kids. ;( Usually I’m not lonely. My sis comes over for a visit with her 5 year old and 12 year old.
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Like someone else said before, they are probably not being honest with you. This is the internet. It is VERY rare to find a 17 year old girl who supports herself and her child, ALL on her own.
Think about it. In terms of a job, At 17 you haven’t graduated high and you aren’t 18; a lot of places require a high school diploma and/or that you be 18. So then you have to pick and choose (especially in this economy) and make 1000 a month, at best. For a lot of people that’s not even enough to pay for 2 days at Daycare. And then, there’s the living aspect. Try to find someone who will give you a lease under the age of 21, let alone age 17 when you still aren’t a legal adult.
I can imagine that a teenager claiming to be fully independent AND doing a good job WITHOUT help is probably lying. Some aren’t, but it’s rare to find that. Some, I can imagine, think they’re independent only because they don’t know what true independence is.
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It is 100% possible, although I am lucky enough to have a good job that easily takes care of the bills and leaves money left over. Childcare is expensive, and the rent in my area is high, as well…
If I was in this same situation that I am, only uneducated and not as gainfully employed, I would apply for assistance to go back to school and get the job skills that are needed to land a job that can take care of my family. You find a daycare, go to work everyday and take responsibility for yourself and your child. It is not that difficult; I think that people are just lazy and looking for a hand out. Trust me, you Will never get anywhere with the handouts you are going to get. You are much better off making your own way and actually earning some money.
I am also 27 years old; at 17 I would have just not had sex (or at least not get pregnant). What a waste!
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I work really hard in order to support myself and my son. His father had only seen him 4 times (day he was born, 1 visit to home, appointment, christmas) and makes no effort to see how he is doing or help financially (my child support hearing is next week) I’m also a full time college student. The biggest help I have is my mom and her husband, I’d be lost without them. Thanks to them I don’t have to worry about daycare while I’m at work or school. It’s really hard, I have to worry about his needs first, there have been times where I couldnt afford to buy myself food because he needed diapers and I either go eat at my moms, borrowed money or just not eaten. I don’t regret a minute of my life without my baby boy. He is the only reason I work so hard and study my butt off. He is all the motivation in the world that i need in order to pull through and get ahead.
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21 years old, mommy of 4 month old